soul mates, part 1

Most people are unable to embrace ideas of soul mates, fate and destiny. I suppose it’s comforting to believe we possess absolute agency and control over the outcome of our lives, as well as dangerous to suggest that our lives are out of our control. Like with most things, I am slow to draw any absolute conclusions about this issue and am unable to fully accept either extreme. But I do think I hold a stronger belief in our lives having some sort of predetermined path and our relationships being based on mysteriously eternal connections than most. I’m in the process of exploring and reflecting on these notions.

I am currently enjoying the films Before Sunrise and Before Sunset, which I’m sure I’ll be writing more about later. They are two connected films produced nine years apart: the first about two people meeting on a train, sensing a connection, and choosing to get off the train and spend the night wandering around Vienna together, and the second about their chance reunion nine years later. I saw the last hour of the second film while visiting J.B. and DeeDee in Boulder, and thus already had the end in mind as I watched the genesis of their union in Before Sunrise last night. I intend to re-watch Before Sunset tonight to experience the full effect of this engaging piece of art, and I definitely recommend these films to all and hope that they will add something to your life. These films confirmed in me some of my beliefs about eternal connections between human beings.

The idea of having a soul mate has always appealed to me, and, although I understand it isn’t a very practical thing to believe in and it presents numerous ideological problems, I can’t seem to dismiss it completely.

I have recently become friends with a girl whom I have admired and felt drawn to for quite sometime. She is extremely difficult to get close to and after months of superficial acquaintance with her I began to lose hope and convince myself that I was highly delusional for ever believing that there was some sort of deeper connection between us. But then, quite unexpectedly, there was a break through. She let down her guard and made herself vulnerable to me and we connected. The interesting thing is it happened so quickly, after all that, it was just so easy. And now that we’ve crossed over the barriers into a real friendship it seems like, in some way, it was always this way or at the least always going to be this way. The great abyss that seemed to be between us for all those months now seems to have never existed. And I can’t help but feel that some part of me knew this was true all along. Like we were intimate friends all along.

I may not be making much sense, but I am experiencing this. Hopefully, as I come to understand it better I will be able to articulate it better. I guess what I’m saying is I feel like sometimes we have these connections to people that are significant, maybe even eternal. Connections that begin before they began and never seem to end. But more on this later…