tired and warm
today i took a three hour nap, and i'm not a napper. i've been tired every minute for the last week, going to bed exhausted and waking up the same. it's nice to feel refreshed, but i don't regret my week of exhaustion. it's been one of those weeks that i really lived, and life lived right can really leave you tired.
i was reunited with one chunk of my soul just to be separated from another. david came back from brazil different. it is a startling shift and will require some exploration. jessi's departure for new zealand felt right, like closure with hope. my love for her was renewed. my heart was warmed by the familiarity and ease of our final interactions. getting ready for bed, i used the bathroom while, two feet away, she brushed her teeth with my toothbrush. we climbed into my bed together and talked for hours, staring up at the ceiling in the dark. i cherished the minutes and each of her comments, knowing that they would be the last for a while. not clinging to them greedily as i might have before, i let them pass through me. despite how we may still surprise and disappoint each other at times, i feel like we know and love each other in a real way.
i don't have, or even want, a lot of close friends. but i think i'll always have these two to make me tired and warm.
i was reunited with one chunk of my soul just to be separated from another. david came back from brazil different. it is a startling shift and will require some exploration. jessi's departure for new zealand felt right, like closure with hope. my love for her was renewed. my heart was warmed by the familiarity and ease of our final interactions. getting ready for bed, i used the bathroom while, two feet away, she brushed her teeth with my toothbrush. we climbed into my bed together and talked for hours, staring up at the ceiling in the dark. i cherished the minutes and each of her comments, knowing that they would be the last for a while. not clinging to them greedily as i might have before, i let them pass through me. despite how we may still surprise and disappoint each other at times, i feel like we know and love each other in a real way.
i don't have, or even want, a lot of close friends. but i think i'll always have these two to make me tired and warm.
2 Comments:
calla maria, i just want you to know that i love you, and i could never use anyone's toothbrush with as much ease as I used yours. In fact, I don't think I could ever use anyone else's toothbrush period.
Calla Maria! What's this I hear about you moving to Portland? Are you going to come back? Will we ever see you again? This makes me sad. :( If you come back, I'll promise not to be intimidating and yell about how horrible Guatemala is at you.
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